Go inside a stone
That would be my way.
Let somebody else become a dove
Or gnash with a tiger's tooth.
I am happy to be a stone.

From the outside a stone is a riddle:
No one knows how to answer it.
Yet within, it must be cool and quiet
Even though a cow steps on it with full weight,
Even though a child throws it in a river;
The stone sinks slow, unperturbed
To the river bottom
Where the fishes come to knock on it
And listen.

I have seen sparks fly out
When two stones are rubbed,
So perhaps it is not dark inside after all;
Perhaps there is a moon shining
From somewhere, as though behind a hill-
Just enough light to make out
The strange writings, the star charts
On the inner walls.

-Charles Simic

Someone PLEASE tell me some books I need to read. I've got $5 to amazon I need to burn (because I preordered my Harry Potter like a good fan, dammit and I'm not wasting it!). I'm usually a novel lover but I devour books like it's going out of style so it doesn't really matter. I'm just coming up blank with things I should read. Help!



Thanks :)

Today, I lost the war I've been fighting since I started at HWS in 1998. Despite years of loudly protesting the non-existing aesthetics of Vera Bradley bags, I somehow discovered this year that they have grown on me. How? I do not know. Maybe it was when my beloved Dooney and Burke It bag starting begging for retirement. Maybe it was when I realized I could buy a bag large enough to fit a 10 month old baby in for the same price as a tassle on the bags I normally covet. Or maybe...it's just a sign that I am getting old. At any rate, I bought this:



And I love it. It's big enough to carry my books around in (right now I'm reading a book called "The Lost Dinosaurs of Egypt" and next up is "Snowball Earth". Yay for Discovery channel stores and their love of paleontological literature) but not so big that I'll feel like I can take old ladies out at the knee. I already have my eye on the bag I want for fall, it's fantastic. Let's hope I don't turn into a full fledged collector because I'm already more superficial than I'd like. Whatever, it's cotton, yay for regrowable natural resources!

HEY COMPUTER SAVVY BOYS AND GIRLS!!!

Do you know of a virus that will take the cursor and place it wherever it wants, randomly in the middle of typing and redirect your typing to that spot? I'm convinced Brent has something like this on his computer and he claims it's me hitting something but I know it's not. If there is such a virus, how might I rid the computer of it?

TIA :)

I just emailed the breeder (finally!) about getting a puppy. I've been dragging my feet, waiting to find out about the job and the apt but also because I was a little unsure that I want the responsibility. But I guess when I really think about it, I'm 26 with no sign of marriage or kids in sight so a little responsibility won't kill me. My mother tells me to not do it because it will be harder to find an apt in the future that will take dogs but I don't care. People do it all the time and I just found one that will take him so I'm sure I can do it again. I just hope there's a little yellow male cooking in there and not a bunch of blacks or girls.

http://www.libertyhilllabradors.com/ That's his breeder, if you want to see :)

Big changes are occurring....

I'm moving to Syracuse (about an hour away from where I am now, for you non-upstate NY people). I'm sick of my job and being miserable about it all the time and I'm sick of my apt and how small it is. So in a 2 week time span I decided to move, found a job at another animal hospital and an apt. The hospital seems very excited to have me which is a big change from my current situation and therefore very exciting. I start August 7. The apt is the same rent as the one I'm in but 3 times the size and the top half of the house my good friend and her husband live in. I can also finally get my puppy which is something I want more than anything.

I'm scared of the change but excited for it too. I refuse to allow myself to fall back into being as miserable as I was in Delhi. And I guess if I hate this hospital too, I'll find a new one. I don't have to accept being unhappy anymore. And that's probably one of the best things I have ever figured out.

I'm siting here in denial that I have to go to work so I made me:




I think they should have an option to make your doll fat because she looks like me but she needs a hot pocket. But there WAS a Trixie cat so I made due.

Ami has inspired me to post pics of my bedroom since I finally finished it about 2 weeks ago. I had first painted it a color I can only describe as urine yellow and it sucked. After much searching, I found the most gorgeous blue ever which of course, doesn't look anything like it does in the pictures. Oh well. So here's the pics! (non-LJ cut because...I just don't care/remember how to do it :) And sorry if they're blurry, I took them with my phone.

First up is "Trixie's" desk. I call it that since she refuses to allow anything other than her basket to sit on it, she'll shove it all onto the floor. Oh, and that mirror? I wanted it for 2 years at Joann Fabrics but wouldn't pay $120 for it. When I moved back here I went just to look at things and I randomly saw it with the back broken off. So what did I buy it for, you ask? $5. A little wood glue and some finishing nails and it's good as new (and matches my furniture perfectly). And see my loser self in the background? Haha




Next my dresser, as modeled by the future Miss January. The handles on my furniture used to be brass but right before I moved in I painted them all. Brass sucks. And those lights...I took them down because they kept pissing me off and falling and they're a bitch to plug in. But I still think they're cute and I need to figure out what to do with them.




And then there's my bookcase which holds about 1/35 of the books I own. I wanted this for months too and finally found it on clearance at Target for $30 (did I ever mention I'm a bargain bitch?). I put it in my car myself, hauled it upstairs myself and put it together myself. Can you tell I'm proud? Hehe




Some of my rock collection on the to shelf. I say "some of" because my mom went on a massive clean out of my room at her house about a year ago and threw about 300lbs of rocks I had collected out. I cried for days.




And my license above it. Blurry but at least you know I'm not lying about being an LVT :) And I found that frame at Pier One and it matches my furniture so I love it.




And last but not least...the place where NO magic happens. But it's still my most favorite place in the world. I have the best 450 thread count sheets from Ralph Lauren on there, oooohhhhh yeah. It's like sleeping on a cloud. And I sleep with that teddy bear every night because it's one of the only things I have left of my life pre-fire.



So there you have it, my room. I have pretty simple tastes, in case you couldn't tell. So my bathroom is done, bedroom is done and now I just need to do my living room. Don't hold your breath waiting for that one though :)

I would rather work at an all cocker spaniel vet hospital where I did nothing but express anal glands and clean droopy, yeasty ears on what I consider the most worthless breed of canine for 12 hours a day than shop around to try to find a car that is cute, gas friendly, dependable and within my price range. Car shopping is supposed to be fun but it blows.







PS: I apologize if anyone who reads this enjoys cocker spaniels but seriously...you should seek counseling for that.



PPS: I also apologize for the extreme run on sentance but I felt it was necessay for dramatic effect.

So I just rinsed out the onsies I tie dyed a few hours ago. For my first time, I think they came out pretty well. The horizonal striped one had some orange bleeding at the bottom from some dye left on the counter but it still looks ok. I may have rinsed them too early but I didn't want them too dark (and I was impatient) and the pink color looks wonky online because of my phone but good in person.. I just have to wash them a few times at my mom's tomorrow and then I am putting an iron on patch on the back of the neck on each one (they are small, flat realistic picture images of orange monarch butterflies...so cute). I will take more pictures when they're done but here they are right now! (All wet and wrinkly and non lj-cut because I can't remember how to do it and I don't want to look it up :P)

My favorite



This one's ok



Second favorite (see the bleeding? It pisses my perfectionist self off)



All three



So how bad are they (or aren't they?). Be honest, I can take it :) Either way, I think I will make more later this week just to play around with the dye I have left. I'm going to work more on linnig things up right the next time.

Update on 2 posts ago: A wasp just landed on my shoulder and stung me. I forgot how much it hurts since I haven't been stung since I was a kid. My mother was WRONG and I have now declared war on the wasps. The fuckers.

I have to go to a baby shower for a girl I work with next week. She's having a girl and she doesn't want anything pink or frilly so I am going to tie dye some onesies for her and then maybe paint some things on there like paw prints or something (since she's a tech). I'm not sure how it will go since I've never tie dyed anything but I AM a craft whore so I'm thinking pretty well. I have mango orange, lemon yellow and light pink dye and I think they will be cute. I know she doesn't want pink but hello, it's a girl. I think the tie dying will make up for it. I'l post pics when I'm done and if they come out good I will have enough dye for about 20 more onesies so I'll be making them for everyone I know, haha. Let me know if you want on the list :P

Oh, and I also got her little Converse All Star black high top sneakers with a pink tongue. They're a size 5 which is the smallest they had and I have no clue how old she'll be when they fit. Hopefully not in college.

My apartment is OVERRUN with wasps, I can't take it. I killed five last week and right now there's a huge one with ghetto booty flying around my head waiting to sting me somewhere. My mother claims that it's just the time of year for them and they are too logey to sting but I don't buy that. And thanks to Leah and Talia teaching Trixie that catching bugs is cool, she thinks they're like moving snacks. I'm convinced she's going to eat one, get stung and go into aniphylactic shock. I was thinking maybe I should bring some epinephrine home just in case but then I figured I was overreacting. It's still a thought though.

I hate bugs.

I looked at a 2004 Civic today. Silver, 4 door (ick but beggars can't be choosers), automatic, 10K miles. If it works out well, it'll be mine. I've already been looking at mods for it (spoiler, projection lenses, metal plates for the interior, leather seat covers). If it does become mine, I'm turning it into a white girl rice rocket and I'm not ashamed to admit that :P

Toys R Us is a venus fucking fly trap. Just when you think you're done, you find another section that may have some toy that's even more perfect than the toy you already have. And despite the fact whatever you buy will be as quickly forgotten as the next wrapped gift is shoved in the baby's hands, you feel the need to look anyway and spend more money than you spend on a car payment each month and not think twice about it.

Needless to say, Hunter turns 2 on Wednesday. He is now the proud owner of a Dora the Explorer indoor tent and stamps for his Aqua Doodle. I have to go to Walmart tonight for groceries so I'm sure I'll buy more. My mom tried to convince me to get him a savings bond but screw that. My baby cousin will have more toys than he knows what to do with! Oh wait....he already does :P

Anyway, here he is at about 6 or 7 months:



And here he is today (we were singing Mail time from Blues Clues...this is the part where you scream "mail"):



They grow so fast :(

I have come to the conclusion I don't need a boyfriend. Why, you might ask? Because I steal everyone else's. Nick fixes my computer, Warren gave me his computer to use while mine is getting fixed and he fixed my ever-flushing toilet and Justin put the new floor in my bathroom today. Nick is married, Warren is my best friend's bf and Justin is my friend Tanya's finace. So I get all the perks without having to deal with messy bathrooms or dirty socks under my bed...you just can't beat that. They're all great guys though and I appreciate them all immensely.

Things are going pretty well in my world. I had a crazy busy weekend but most weekends are for me. I got to get more Mac makeup yesterday and I spent way too much doing so. Oh well, I look at it as in investment in my face :) I wish I had another 2 days off to rest from life but I would just end up busy again so that would defeat the purpose.

Work is going well, I guess. My 4 month evaluation is this week so I guess I will know HOW well after that. I hate evalutaions, I always hear the same things: 1) I'm too loud, 2) I talk too much, 3) I'm late all the time. None of these change will change any time soon since they've been going on for oh, I don't know, the past 25 years so if this job can get it all to go away, goody for them they deserve a medal. But I have noticed that I have more confidence in myself and things that I do. I rock at blood draws and I admit that fully. I'm starting to do catheters more which is cool, I rank that right up there with drawing blood. I still want to learn how to do xrays and not be so nervous when I'm scheduled for urgent care, but all in good time. I hate being on call and it causes me much stress but I hope that will go away with time, too.

I've been going to the gym for a good 2 weeks now and I'm enjoying it. I didn't go tonight because I was too busy today and I'm beat, but I like the feeling of going. I have convinced tanya to start running, too because we walk around the track every night and I HATE it. I told her walking on a track for 30 mins is like foreplay, what the hell is the point? :P I didn't eat as well as I should have this weekend (aka I ate every cheeseburger not nailed down in a 50 mile radius) so I need to start back on track again tomorrow.

I think I am going to make my livejournal friends only. I've never wanted too but I found out people I know IRL read it and it weirds me out. Not sure why I can handle strangers reading my journal but not people I see every day. I am just dreading the thought of going through entry by entry for the past five years and making them all FO. I'm just too lazy :)

Anyway, I think I'm going to take a bath and continue to procrastinate filling out my evalution. As soon as the wonderful Nick sends my computer back to me (it's on vacation with him in Ohio) then I will post the pictures I took of my new floor. It really is great :)

I signed a one year contract with the gym yesterday. I go Mondays,Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays and once I get used to it, I want to start taking Yoga on Wednesdays. It was about time I quit bitching about wanting to lose weight and have more strength and endurance at work. And I have to stick with it because I am NOT one to waste money. I know I'll feel good about it...when I stop hurting so damn much :P

Oh man. I don't usually like to list my gifts but I got so many this year I am overwhelmed and I need to do an inventory, haha. I guess I'm just not used to it. My mom's new job gave her a huge income increase and she went CRAZY on me. So some of the stuff I got:

From my Aunt Darlene (she had my name for Christmas):
~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory DVD
~Ryan Cabrera's new CD

From my best friend Beth:
~A huge revolving rack of scissors for scrapbooking
~A TON of scrapbooking paper

From my Aunt Yvonne:
~A stocking (AKA Walmart bag) full of little things like a toothbrush, toothpaste, razors,etc (she does this every year and I love it)

From my mommy:
~T-Fal frying pans
~An electric frying pan
~Measuring cups/spoons
~A non-stick cookie sheet (I guess she thinks I need to cook more)
~A Gary Patterson cat calender
~DKNY Be Delicious perfume (One of the best things I got)
~A down throw blanket with the softest fur stuff ever on one side (Another favorite)
~A leather cover for my cell phone so it doesn't scratch
~Oneida silverware
~3 different kinds of socks
~Gift cards for Citgo to get gas and for Walmart
~Silk long johns for under my scrubs
~A black Eddie Bauer fleece jacket (I wanted this SO BAD, haha)
~And the best...A LEATHER coat. I totally wasn't expecting that and she thought it was "more mature" than getting me a new pea coat (I had one before that I lost in the fire)

She got me a lot more little stuff too and I was one spoiled girl this year. I know Christmas isn't about the presents so I feel guilty she got me so much. She told me she forgot to get me an Old Navy giftcard but I told her she already got me too much as it is, but that I loved everything.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great Christmas :)

This Christmas has me thinking about my cousin Todd in Iraq a lot. I'm just so proud to be related to another US Marine and so thankful for the sacrifices he's made to keep us all safe. I hate Bush and I hate that we're at war but that doesn't make me support him or anyone else in the military any less than I do. And I know I haven't seen him much since he enlisted a few years ago but he's always in my thoughts, especially now. I hope he has a good Christmas and I can't wait until he's home again (soon!) so I can stop worrying about him.


I hope everyone else has a good Christmas, too! I hope you get to spend lots of time with your family, as I know I will with mine. Although we put the "fun" in "dysfunctional" I wouldn't trade them for the world. And I hope Santa squeezes down your chimney (as he's yet to realize the horror of too many carbs) and leaves you something shiny and new to brag about for many weeks to come! Merry Christmas!

I have to admit, I'm just not into writing in my LJ these days. I'm not sure why, it just seems so tedious. And I pretty much do the same things every week so there isnt much to say. Not that my life is boring lately, it just isn't notable enough to talk about it. I still read LJ every day but it's easier for me to keep up with myspace. Hate to say that, but it's true. But I do have some pictures to post because I recently figured out how to email myself pictures off my phone so here you go :) Sorry about the weird sizing, I lost my picture editing program when my HD went this summer.

( Random Picture Extravaganza! )